I decided to head up to Farmington for my first Lagoon trip of June! Naturally, there’s also the slight caveat that I no longer have a job…so it’s not like there was anything stopping me other than gas money. And the hope was that during a weekday it would be less crowded, so I could ride every single ride at the park. I did not achieve this goal, plus my reservation was for 11:30 AM so I missed that ever-valuable first half-hour, but I did have a great time.
I really needed this as a mental health day. Losing my job on Monday was extremely rough, as was not winning a single category in the Cornell Theme Park Design Competition on Friday (granted, this didn’t occur until after the Lagoon trip, which was on Thursday). I’ve got to take care of my mind as well as my body.
But before we drive to Lagoon, we must do our morning run at SCERA Park. I really need to get on those waterslides soon!My Pilot is ready to go to Lagoon!Packing the shiz. Oops, did I just flex my cold, hard cash at you? I have thirteen whole dollars! RRRICHTime to listen to some mediocre pop music on the way up!
Didn’t get there quite early enough to walk the Lagoon trail, unfortunately, but I did get a full workout in before leaving! Despite the reservation system, it was quite packed in the morning, which leads me to think that people are just snagging random reservations and coming whenever they feel like it. Eh, whatever, but I can play that game too. Next time.
I had a job once. Not for me, man. I’m skeptical that ALL these people had 11:30 AM reservations, but you know. Whatever. GASP…The rumors are true. THE SKY RIDE IS OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!1!And they have paper maps! It’s the little things that make you happy. Unfortunately, when you unfold it, it still has the same crappy map as last season that is not very visually readable. I need to post a picture of it at some point. Are we at a botanical garden? Nope, we’re at Lagoon!Once more, we follow the ULOL. It’s CANNIBAL TIME, witches. I rode it twice, and noticed an elephant statue that I’ve never paid attention to before. Plus, the mist from the waterfall felt amazing. THIS is how you theme a hypercoaster!Still can’t ride the wheel because I’m at the park solo. The single life is horrendously boring, but alas, it keeps dragging on. How long does singledom drag on for? Forever, trust me. These fans feel amazing in the summer heat. And I love this painting. Fiery spirits, fleeing from the cannibal that devoured them. I need to eat less donuts and ice cream sandwiches so I can ensure that I always fit in these seats.Centennial Screamer was closed today 🙁 But Samurai was open! FINALLY! I got an outer seat, and it was amazing! I was laughing the whole time. And I’m not sure if the bruises I currently have on my shoulders are from Samurai or Cliffhanger.
A&A pro-tip for Lagoon: If Samurai is running, and you like Top Scans, drop everything else and get in the queue. Seriously. This thing goes down by like 1 PM and doesn’t run for the rest of the day half the time.
Time to take a little rest in the shade! Sun-soaking bulges in the shade…This was the only time I’ve ever seen Rocket: Re-Entry with a shorter line than Rocket: Blast-Off. Aha, Flying Aces! I’ll be saving this one for a little bit later. Bet you wouldn’t guess we’re in a theme park right now. I wonder who lives in this piece of crap trailer. It would be cool to live in Lagoon, but not if it’s in this thing. Look at the little toy Ferris wheel. It’s soooo cute!Taking a little peek at Primordial…Sooo excited!Time to pee in the toilet. They still have every other urinal blocked off. Why don’t they have these in Rollercoaster Tycoon? I bet somebody’s made Planet Coaster DLC with this. And if they haven’t, they should. THE ARCADE IS OPEN! Nobody’s in it, but it’s OPEN! I’m going to game here one of these days 🙂 Well, now it’s time to grab my packed lunch from my car, and sit in my car while I eat it. Salami and pepper jack cheese sandwich, aw yiss.NOPE! This is what I will not be doing. Never done this, probably never will. The dude on the left knows what’s up. It’s time for the Paratrooper again! I love this thing so much. They let me take my water bottle on it. But the dude who operates this thing is cool. He was operating Samurai earlier. He’s super charismatic and enthusiastic, and likes screaming. Fire up the tilt-a-whirl, AND WE’LL SEE YOU ALL IN HELL!
I leaned back and sat up straight. I did not experience any weird moments of the breath getting taken out of me with this posture, which was good. I do not like that sensation, which is why I don’t like stick-to-the-walls rotors or gravitrons. But I do love when the tilt-a-whirl cars start spinning ridiculously fast while going around corners! Also, my current chapter in Carnivile involves a tilt-a-whirl, so…Research time! 😀
Sometimes I just want to write full-time and avoid working for the man. But, theme park design… </3Air Race, got uncomfortably close to a wasp but had so much fun otherwise. I love water features. It almost feels like you can kick the top of the fountains while on Skyride (don’t try too hard though; ’tis unsafe). NOW it’s time to get on Flying Aces! I got on the camo one. It was quite windy when I was on, which made the ride way more fun, although my plastic water bottle on the floor was in an awkward situation. I caught a lot of air!Jet Star 2 still isn’t operating. It’s really, really awkward to do solo though. Heck, let’s be real. It’s awkward to do even with people that you know. Bobsleds in general are very uncomfortable unless you’re with an attractive SO. And you won’t be. Again, doesn’t feel like we’re in an amusement park, but we absolutely are 🙂 I don’t think you can go inside this. Also, that’s what she said. The history wall!The heat is getting intense so it’s time to ride OdySea!I absolutely love the OdySea song. Bite me. All aboard the OdySea! 😀 😀 😀 I almost dropped my water bottle on this one, no bueno.I tried to go on Dracula’s Castle, but there was no one in line. I quickly found out why. The ride operator was super anal, and insisted that I could not ride with my stupid little Arrowhead plastic water bottle, even if I put it in my pocket or fanny pack. “YoU haVE tO leAvE iT wiTh a NoNRIdiNg coMPanIoN oR puT iT iN A lOCKeRRR!!” He also wouldn’t let me stash it in the bushes, with this condescending shake of his head. K. “yOu’RE nOt ALlOWeDDDddD!!1!!!1!”
Never mind that I took it on OdySea, Flying Aces, and Paratrooper; I couldn’t take it on one of the wimpiest rides in the park. Ok. Dude must be new. That’s probably why no one was in line. In order to ride Dracula, you must follow the Holy Gospel of the Lockers.
It’s over 24 hours later and I am still fairly irritated about this for some reason. Ended up not doing Dracula at all that day. BTW, I’ve done this thing with a full Adidas drawstring sports bag and had absolutely no issues, because the whole ride is flat and slower than molasses.
Inconsistency, I think, is what bothers me, because there is clearly no issue with having a bottle on this super slow ride. Disney let me take a freaking sports bag on Incredicoaster, which inverts. K. Well, screw him, it’s time for Sky Ride! The operator here was much, much cooler. And as usual, I got irrationally nervous whenever it stopped and swung. There’s something about the loose restraints here that unsettles me. Yet, it’s such a great view that I have to do it!It’s the deer again! They are quite friendly. ‘Roos
After seeing the animals, I went to ride Colossus and Cliffhanger. I got absolutely soaked on Cliffhanger; it was amazing. But I forgot to take photos of them. 😐
Then it was time for Lagoon-a-Beach!
I got to LAB at around 4:45 PM, significantly later than intended. I rented a locker and then started with the quadruplet body tube slides: Twist, Shout, Pipeline, and Wipeout. They were slower than I remember from summer 2019, or maybe I’m just fatter. Phatty McPhatPhace.
I got stuck on Twist. In the dark. No joke. I had to grab onto the sides and push myself before I could start moving again. I wonder if it was the zipper on my swimsuit getting caught in the segments.
After that, I rode the two speed slides, Liquid Lightning and The Drop. Both of them were insanely fun, although they got way too much water in my ears. It felt so good to land in that splash pool! I also realized that LAB’s slides are significantly more tame than Splash Summit’s, even the speed slides.
All three of the serpentine slides were operating as body slides today. I’m sure I could have taken a tube down them if I really wanted to, but I elected not to, since nobody else was and it would save my unemployed ass $5 — plus it was becoming apparent that I wouldn’t have time for my usual relaxed float down Mooch’s Mainstream.
The green slide was…actually pretty painful on my heels, and I almost slowed to a stop once because there was so much friction. Worst segmentation on a slide I’ve ever experienced (it wasn’t open much last season, so.). I don’t think that one is normally used as a body slide, but I probably won’t be doing it without a tube in the future.
The light blue slide was much nicer, despite also being segmented, as it is usually used as a body slide. However, I knew that the dark blue slide was normally used as a tube slide, plus it was 5:50 by this point and LAB closed at 6, so I decided to nix it. I took a shower, changed, and went to get some Arby’s.
Arby’s was slow as usual, and I realized that a double sandwich is just a bit too much for me. Their curly fries were as good as always, though.
Ate this in the car. Not sure if I will do that again — waste of gas? Time to go back into the park after dinner. It’s almost time for writing group…
I tried to go on the zoo train, but I think it was being sanitized or something, so I went over to the merry-go-round instead.
Break it on down, it’s murder-go-round…I rode on an awesome black horse (not pictured). Pretty sick. Just like the creepy black horse by the Denver, Colorado airport! And somehow I wasn’t fat enough to break it! I find it mildly annoying that, at 26, I still experience difficulty getting off horses if they finish too high off the ground. I ain’t getting any taller, so sucks to suck I guess. After the merry-go-round, it was time for writing group! I hopped on the Zoom call at a quiet picnic area, with this view of the Primordial construction!After writing group, it was closing time, and time to head back home. Until next time, my beloved Lagoon! <3
Couldn’t get on every ride this round, but I’m determined to achieve that goal one of these days. I need to get there before opening and do all the coasters first, flats later. Happy summer, all!
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