Posted by It’s outdoor water park season, witches.
And Seven Peaks is now rebranded as Splash Summit. It was my second time at the park — first time was 2019, we got there like 30 minutes before closing, and all I did was one slide and the lazy river. This year, I actually went to the park on Friday night, but arrived so close to closing time (6 PM for May/June) that the gates were already shut. They did activate my season pass, but I had to leave without getting touched by a single drop of chlorine. I cri everytiem.
But with work, that’s honestly the best that I can do. I am looking forward to July, in which they’ll be open until 8:00 PM every night, so I can start going after work.
I took a half day, because I’m pretty busy right now trying to make sure the fun summertime season doesn’t take away too much time from my creative work and logistical tasks. Plus, I needed to catch up on blogging, and I have the whole summertime ahead of me! I tried to get there by opening; I really should have gotten there by opening at 10 AM, but instead I slept in and still wanted to run 6 miles in Provo Canyon. So I screwed my plan over, and didn’t get there until 11 AM. Poor choice, but hey. Better than nothing. Still gotta run.
The first thing I found out was that their electronic system was down. So they just took my word for it that I had a season parking pass, and let me through the booth. I parked, walked to the front entrance, scanned the QR code for my season pass, and went on in.
The second thing I found out was that their locker system wasn’t working. Makes sense, considering that they weren’t able to scan my parking pass. I tried like seven times, on different kiosks, to get a locker, but to no avail. Judging by the confused families standing at the kiosks, I wasn’t the only one who had this problem. This is unfortunate as I generally think very highly of Best Lockers. But, it could’ve been a network issue, and honestly it probably was. Things happen, and it was only their second day of operating. I’ll forgive them this time. 😛
Looking at Free Fall (the orange one) freaked me out a bit, so I actually didn’t ride it this round. Funny, from the angle in the above photo it doesn’t look so bad. Regardless, I will be riding it this season, and most likely in mid-June! Can’t stay afraid forever. Might even ride it multiple times, although it’s easy to say that while sitting in my apartment. Still, water slides are like roller coasters: the more you ride them, the more natural they feel!
After stashing my shiz under some random lawn chair and hoping that nobody would jack it and removing my hat, shades, and Apple Watch, I proceeded to my first destination of the day: the twin body slides, Flash Flood! I started with the green one, then moved onto the blue one. These slides are a blast. You sit on the loading pool, with cool water splashing all around you. The tanks behind you gradually fill up with water. The lifeguard asks you if you’re good to go, and once you give her the okay, she flips a switch. When she flips it, a huge amount of water splashes out, and both you and the person next to you are unceremoniously ejected forward.
The two Flash Flood slides are heaven on earth, and are perfect for those who are cautious about sliding. They are fairly slow, and you don’t go too far up the edges on the banked curves. For optimal sliding speed, assume standard waterslide position: lie down, cross your arms over your chest, cross your legs like a dainty little princess, and hold your aqua socks if you have them. This will help you go at a decent speed and avoid getting stuck on the slides. Also, hold your nose when you get close to the splash pool. Otherwise, you’ll be snorting out water. Water will get in your ears no matter what, though!
Oh snap, I just realized that I won’t get any move ring calories for walking up all these stairs, because the Apple Watch is safe for swimming, NOT water slides. Lame.
After Flash Flood, it was time to rip the Band-Aid off and do Sky Breaker. I knew that if I could handle Sky Breaker, it would be that much easier to do Free Fall in the future. So that’s exactly what I did.
Some kids were going down the thing headfirst on top of mats. Let me just say they were way braver than me! I went lying down, feet-first. Not going headfirst down that thing. No thank you.
Sky Breaker is pretty cool because you start out in the relative darkness of an enclosed tube, with just a glimmering light showing you the end of the tunnel. After just a few seconds of sliding, holy crap that is a steep slope, holy crap I’m going down it, AAAHHHH I AM GOING TO DIE or at least get a serious concussion OR DIE AAAAHHHHH!
Major airtime, folks. This is the stuff dreams are made of! I lifted off the slide for a split second, but it felt like time was frozen. It was both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. I made a weird gurgling noise as I flew down the slope. I’m not sure why I did that, and thankfully there was no one to witness it, but it definitely happened. Then I made gentle contact with the slide again, and relaxed somewhat.
There are no splash pools with Sky Breaker. Splash pools are for chumps. Splash pools are for weenies. Splash pools are for splash fools, for lame whiny losers. But you on the other hand are cool, because you just rode the Sky Breaker. You just broke the sky, you magnificent little water park enthusiast, you. Instead of a pool, you just finish on a long, water-filled runway in a glorious explosion of glimmering water. You hit said water with a surprising amount of force, but still you stop well before the end of the runway. Feels good man.
At this point I didn’t realize that Jagged Edge could be done as a body slide, because kids were going down it headfirst, with mats. What is it with these kids? So I skipped it, and decided to save Free Fall for a future day where I’m feeling a bit bolder. (*a chicken squawks loudly*) Next time I will be doing Jagged Edge for sure, but as a body slide.
Next up: it was time to use my season tube pass, and go down the Vortex, AKA Toiletbowl.
Vortex (a tube-only slide) was pretty fun; however I did get stuck at the beginning. I had to push myself a few times to get through the first part of the tunnel, which was hard because it gets pretty dark in there. I also ended up going backwards somehow, but it was actually quite fun! I splashed down into the toilet bowl, and said hi to the friendly lifeguard. I stopped almost immediately, because my butt was touching the slide through the hole of the inner tube (this is bad form for inner tube slides and I’m embarrassed to say I committed this cardinal sin). The lifeguard pushed me through the final steep but short drop, then I landed with a splash in the water runway.
I’m really impressed with Vortex, despite getting stuck at first (was probably due to the butt drop). It was very enjoyable. I built a few of these in Rollercoaster Tycoon 3 Platinum; now I finally got to ride one!
After Vortex, it was time to chill in the lazy river, Canyon River! I took two laps around, with my phone and watch this time (phone in a waterproof case; Apple Watch on lock). There was a lot of debris in the river (leaves, etc.) but it’s still a thousand times less gross than the Salt Lake so who cares?
After that, I bought a $3 Powerade from some teenage employees at a cart — hey, got to support the businesses! Then, I tried to find a shop to get a T-shirt. However, the only shop I could find was shuttered and full of empty boxes and trash. So, I guess no Splash Summit T-shirt for me yet. I hope I get one before the season ends in September. But hey — until I’ve gone on Free Fall and Boomerang, I won’t deserve it.
Rides completed this trip: Both Flash Flood slides, Sky Breaker, Vortex, Canyon River.
Didn’t do: Free Fall, Jagged Edge, Shotgun Falls (couldn’t do it due to visiting solo), Tube Run aka Mudslide Gorge, Avalanche (was closed), Cave In, and Boomerang. Plus, Rocky Mountain Beach (wave pool) and Summit Plunge (obstacle pool) are still waiting!
Overall, it was a great start to the season. Nothing like a bit of fear and challenge to get me raring to go for 2020. May has proven itself to be an excellent month for both riding and sliding. June will be even better. Over the next few visits, I will probably do everything except for Shotgun Falls due to the tube restrictions. Hell yeah!